Hallmark vs. Husband: Who Won?

My dad tested his marriage one time—really tested it.

Back then, they had a swimming pool, and a bunch of leaves had fallen in. So he got my mom outside to help. Now, you've got to know something about my mama—her attention span is real short.

Dad told her, “Listen, I’m going to throw this cinder block off the deep end and ride it down to the bottom. I’ll breathe through this garden hose.”

Then he adds, “If you see I’m not breathing, or if I go unconscious, I want you to pull me up with this rope I’ve got tied to my foot.”

So there he goes—tosses the cinder block off the deep end, grabs hold of it, and rides that thing down like some kind of Navy SEAL.

Mission accomplished. He breaks loose from the block and heads back up. But all he could think about on the way to the surface was one thing:

"Surely Phyllis is going to be waiting on me. Surely your mama will come through."

He pops up out of the water… and Phyllis is nowhere to be found.

Sure enough, she’s inside, kicked back in his recliner with a bag of popcorn, watching a Hallmark movie.

He bursts in and says, “Phyllis! What are you doing? You were supposed to be out there—at least with a towel—ready to go!”

She said, “Well, first I got cold. Then I looked around and thought, I am not strong enough to pull you up if you did drown.”

He goes, “Did you even look outside?”

She said, “Well… it was a really good part of the movie. I was trying to get to the end of it, then I was going to check and see if I saw that garden hose moving or anything… and then I figured I’d go back to my movie.”

In her words:

“This popcorn, a warm house, and a Hallmark movie was just way more entertaining than watching you breathe through a garden hose.”

Story Credit: Cody Cothron

You can watch Cody tell stories on his TikTok channel here: https://www.tiktok.com/search?q=ccbedswings&t=1747858397529